BOOK REVIEW: Are You My Type Or Am I Yours?

BOOK REVIEW: Are You My Type Or Am I Yours?

Searching for the perfect mate? Want to understand your loved ones and yourself better? Need some parenting help?

ENTER >> The Enneagram.

An “Enneagram” is a model of the human psyche, which is taught and understood as a classification of nine interconnected personality types. If you have always been intrigued and fascinated by the psychology of personality, this book will amaze you and quickly become one of your favorites.

If you explore the nine personality types, you can become more self-aware and understand family members, co-workers, friends, and others you encounter more completely.

Are You My Type, Am I Yours is a psychology book that details each personality type’s best and worst attributes and discusses social and relational characteristics and an in-depth personality description of each.

This fun and interesting book takes a witty approach to relationships using the Enneagram types and how they relate to one another. This personality typing system has become extremely popular by explaining why we act as we do while providing an essential tool for insight and self-discovery.

Are You My Type, Am I Yours discusses the nine personality types and how they interact in work, love, friendships, and family. Each chapter is filled with intriguing facts, witty cartoons, easy personality tests, and famous couples of each type to aid in discovering and appreciating your own personality type and those of people you are involved with — or would like to be.

Take one of the personality tests to determine the number and wing you are on the Enneagram to understand better what motivates you. Knowing both the healthy and unhealthy sides of your “type” can be a clear path for emotional growth.

Shadow number in personal development refers to the opposite side of our highest or core values, or those things that are of the greatest importance to us. When we choose to do an activity that is fulfilling to us, our core values and shadow values are being fulfilled.

Most people are unaware of what their shadow values are and how they are influencing their behavior.

Here are the shadow values that everyone possesses on some level.

  • Attention
    • Being unique, special, or different
  • Belonging
    • Being accepted by, connected to, or feeling a part of something
  • Control
    • Being able to influence your situation, surroundings, yourself, and others
  • Money
    • Being wealthy and having the power to do or have whatever you desire
  • Sexuality
    • Being able to express your sexual desires or preferences without shame
  • Superiority
    • Being right, being better than yourself and others
  • Validation
    • Being important, worthy, or good enough

Many books discussing the Enneagram personality types focus on personal growth and self-understanding, but few focus on how the Enneagram helps people with different personality types get along.

This easy-to-read, illustrated book goes into detail about the likes and dislikes of each personality type, which types are most likely to pair up romantically, how partners, friends, and co-workers can best support people with different personality types.

Let’s discuss the nine different personality types — see if you can pick out the one that most closely resembles you!

  • The Achiever
    • Motivated by the need to achieve success, be productive, and avoid failure.
    • These personalities are driven, success-oriented, pragmatic, and image-conscious.
    • Their major goal is to feel worthwhile and valuable.
    • Achievers believe in themselves and strive to become “somebody” by developing their capabilities and talents.
  • The Adventurer
    • Motivated by the desire to be happy, engage in fun things, contribute to the world, and avoid suffering and pain.
    • This person is introverted, observant, and feeling.
    • They tend to have open minds and approach life, new experiences, and people with grounded warmth.
  • The Asserter
    • Motivated by the desire to be strong and self-reliant, make an impact on the world, avoid appearing weak.
    • Powerful, protective, and resourceful
    • Their temperament is inspiring to others.
    • Their personal strengths definitely improve others’ lives.
  • The Helper
    • Motivated by a need to be appreciated and loved and expresses positive feelings towards others.
    • Kind, generous, warm-hearted, and loving
    • In times of unhealth, can be codependent, manipulative, or people-pleasing.
  • The Observer
    • Motivated by the need to know everything, understand the universe, be self-sufficient and left alone, avoid not answering or looking foolish.
    • Insightful, independent, and innovative
    • Typically ahead of their time, they see things in new and unique ways, concentrate on complex issues with laser-like focus.
  • The Peacemaker
    • Motivated by the wish to keep the peace, avoid conflict and merge with others
    • People-pleaser, friendly, agreeable, cooperative, adaptable, trusting, empathetic, and easy-going
    • They go with the flow and desire peace and harmony
    • Are afraid of chaos, separation, and conflict.
  • The Perfectionist
    • This type is driven to live life the correct way, to improve himself/herself and others, and avoids anger.
    • They are rational and principled, purposeful, and self-controlled, often to the point of being overly critical of others and themselves.
    • Advocates of change, have a desire to be useful and strive to improve.
  • The Questioner
    • Motivated by the desire for security, to feel taken care of, and confront their fears
    • Hard-working, reliable, committed, yet haunted by self-doubt
    • Very faithful to people who matter
    • Excellent at troubleshooting and anticipating challenges
    • Fanatically loyal to their ideas, systems, and beliefs.
  • The Romantic
    • Motivated by the need to understand the feelings of others and the meaning of life and avoid being ordinary.
    • They believe they can find the love or situation that is special, unique, and fulfilling.
    • Idealistic, feels things deeply, empathetic, and authentic.
    • Dramatic, moody, occasionally self-absorbed

Some of my best memes on the enneagram:

If you want a greater understanding of yourself and your relationships, this book can help. It teaches how to communicate with others and helps to build an effective system to build or enhance your business or personal relationships.

A discussion of what each personality type is looking for in a relationship and how they interact together.  Also, there is a discussion on how the Enneagram correlates to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which is a questionnaire designed to make psychological types useful and understandable.

The authors of this terrific book are experts in the Enneagram.

For over 25 years, Renee Baron has been in private practice. She has taught countless seminars and workshops on the value of understanding your personality type. She uses the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs Indicator personality assessments to give readers a practical yet powerful tool to understand their own behavior and the behavior of others. Her books have been published in 17 countries.

Elizabeth Wagele is a leading expert and one of the most popular authors on the Enneagram. She is a graduate of Berkeley at the University of California and continuously blogs about personalities and other interesting subjects.

Enneagram psychology is both a fascinating and accurate view of human behavior, personality, and motivation. This book discusses these things with knowledge, humor, and insight. Become more self-aware, build self-esteem, and learn to accept yourself by gaining insight into your personality type this book will provide.

I recommend this book to all my friends and family to help improve current relationships with loved ones, friends, and co-workers while providing knowledge about relationships yet to be developed.

You can take the Enneagram Test online here.

There are many fascinating elements of the Enneagram to consider that can affect the expression of a person’s personality. Start with questions like: Who is this person? What do they want? What will they do to get it? What will they do if they don’t get it? How do they see the world? And most importantly: who will this person become through the journey?


Below is the best video I found on the enneagram, enjoy:

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times By Pema Chodron

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

What can we do in a world where nothing is certain, save our own, eventual demise? Utilizing Buddhist wisdom, Pema Chodron charts a serene course through the chaos of modern life, with all its dread uncertainties, despair, and fear.

Chodron’s When Things Fall Apart is a reflective, and fundamentally optimistic look at how right mindfulness–seventh of the eightfold paths—can lead us toward true happiness. By attending to ourselves and our emotional reactions—by facing, rather than repressing, our “negative” emotions—we grow to transcend them in all their distracting gaudiness. Once we transcending our most pressing concerns we begin to truly live inside the moments of our lives. Our right living will encourages others, bringing harmony to our lives even in our darkest depths.

Facing fear is, for Chodron, courage. Courage cultivates wisdom. Wisdom brings compassion, and compassion, for Chodron, is the cleanest-burning fuel available for any engine of social change. By weaving micro- and macrocosmic concerns together, Chodron acknowledges that neither is independent of the other. Her message is one of inclusion—that we must include ourselves in the world. Though she advocates self-awareness, Chodron never advocates self-absorption, pulling instead for universal compassion and loving-kindness toward all things, including ourselves. By accepting ourselves, and our inescapable suffering, with courage, curiosity and compassion, we accept the greatest gift life has to give us–happiness.

With twenty-two chapters culled from four talks delivered between 1987 and 1994, Chodron provides a book as calm and comforting as her meditation techniques.

Book Review: Being Genuine: Stop Being Nice, Start Being Real

Review of Thomas d’Ansembourg’s Being Genuine: Stop Being Nice, Start Being Real

I imagine that Thomas d’Ansembourg’s line of work has offered him much experience for the content of this book.  He works with troubled youth. Notorious for masking their feelings, at risk youths usually come with a repertoire of skills designed to hide painful admissions and cloud communication. Thankfully, d’Ansembourg is onto them and shares this knowledge with us in helping to improve our communication style in Being Genuine: Stop Being Nice, Start Being Real.

Although translated from French, the text is immensely readable in English. The author argues that clear communication is not helped by masking our real feelings with nice pleasantries. More often than not this prevents successful discourse. Conversely, genuine communication requires clear language and a true acknowledgement of one’s real feelings about a situation. If we don’t acknowledge our feelings we cannot effectively communicate what it is we want or need in an understandable way.

Again, anybody who has worked with at risk kids knows of their highly elaborate defense mechanisms for concealing their real feelings, Most often this attempt to please or be nice not only hinders communication, it often results in an explosion of violent interactions when the child reaches a breaking point after not having his or her needs met. d’Ansembourg’s delightful style makes this an enjoyable and helpful addition to any person’s resources for improving communication.

A Review Of The Book – Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff Richard CarlsonA Review of the Book – Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Do you constantly worry about the little things in life? There is a book that helps people learn to appreciate all the little things in life and learn to relish the stuff in life that is worthwhile. This book is called “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”. In this self-help book, the author shows you how to be more relaxed and presents suggestions for a less hurried existence.

The author wants you to learn how to slow down and appreciate the little things in life. This book talks to you and not at you, as you learn how not get bogged down from the real and perceived pressure placed on you or you place on yourself. The author wants you to live your life with hope, not worry too much about those little things that really do not impact your daily life.

During these current trying economic times, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” can help you by learning how to overcome small stuff through minor changes in your life. This easy to read and follow book shows you how to relieve those little stresses we all face. Chapter by chapter you will find recommendations and suggestions that you can do to make those little changes in your life to help make it through day-to-day routines.

The book can be found quite easily at After arriving at the Amazon website, you can locate the book by typing “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” into the keyword search for books.

About Kris and Richard Carlson

Richard and I met 25 years ago walking along Seaver Drive at Pepperdine University in Malibu, California. We were just kids in college. I was a freshman, and had just turned 18 a few months before, coming from Portland, Oregon. Richard grew up in Piedmont, California, was 20 and a transfer student, and nationally ranked tennis star from San Jose State University. Ours was a magical beginning as it truly was “love at first sight.” Twenty-five years later, to the day of our “death do us part” on December 13, 2006, we were still very much in love. We knew it was a rare thing, and we always appreciated the ease that we found in our love for each other. Life changes fast.

Ours was not as some people might think: a typical “overnight” success story. Richard wrote nine books, and it was ten years, before he struck a chord around the world with “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” As you can imagine, the first ten years were quite different from the last ten. At one point, he almost quit writing because he received such a low advance on a book. We were talking about how he might have to give up writing when the phone rang. Oprah’s producer was on the line. She said she was just in their library looking for a book on stress management and “You can be happy, no matter what” popped off the top shelf and hit her in the head! She asked if there was any way Richard could fly out to Chicago the next day to be part of a guest panel on the Oprah Winfrey show? This event marked a shift in the energy of Richard’s career.

Three years later, after “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” became a #1 Best Seller all over the world, Richard began the “Don’t Sweat” series. Guess who was at home “sweating the small stuff,” literally, with two young girls ages five and seven at the time? Richard wrote “Don’t Sweat With Your Family,” while on the road that year, and I called him daily with ideas from every day life. Most of his books were written on airplanes after that. The next three years were a whirlwind filled with interviews and speaking engagements. It was a crazy time, but an awesome time, as the Don’t Sweat series was on fire. We made a conscious choice to keep life as “normal” for the kids as possible. Richard declined many opportunities that might have brought him more recognition publicly. He remained devoted to family and even scaled back his traveling schedule the last five years. He didn’t want to miss our kid’s childhood and all the special events in their lives. He realized that every day life is where you receive the small joys and lessons in family, and he chose to be a part of that.

“Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love” is still one of the most popular books in the series; we were able to narrow down some very practical and simple ideas about how to make any couple feel better and help a good relationship become great. It’s all about keeping that loving connection alive! We had a great time launching the book on Valentine’s Day (2002) while on book tour in New York. “Don’t Sweat in Love” made it to the New York Times List at #1.

Hyperion, our publisher, approached Richard to see if I would be willing to write “Don’t sweat the small stuff for Women” which also became a New York Times bestseller, while he wrote “Don’t Sweat the small stuff for Men.” I wasn’t immediately on board with the idea, because, frankly, I couldn’t see how two authors in one home would manage while raising a family. Richard said if I didn’t write a book in the series for women, someone else would have to co-author the book with him. The challenge had been issued, and I said “okay.” It was an incredible experience and my editor said, I was like an otter that took to water for the first time. So, when I went out on book tour, we temporarily reversed roles; Richard enjoyed every minute while staying home with the girls. I was asked to write more but decided to retreat back to family life keeping Richard at the helm of the publishing world, even though I am sure he would have been just as happy staying home with the girls. Along with managing a syndicated column, and an inspirational speaking career, he has written many amazing books since:

“What about the Big Stuff?” “Easier than You Think” “Don’t Get Scrooged”

Richard always had a passion for the written word. He lived in a stream of consciousness that all he needed was his laptop and a bit of quiet to tap into.

Now, he has pushed me to the helm, and he has become the wind beneath my sails. I plan to carry on his work as a Tribute to the incredible man he was to me in every day life, finish some things that need to be finished for him, and keep this website inspirational. So please keep signing on and remember to…

Book Review Of “Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life”

Book Review of “Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life”

This book really changed my life. I discovered the way I think about things is unhelpful and destructive to myself and those around me. Now, when I find myself getting angry or frustrated with a situation, I think about Byron Katie’s Four Questions and I proceed in a much calmer, wiser way. As a result, I’ve gotten a better job, a nicer boyfriend, and I am successfully repairing relations with my estranged mother.

I’ve told all my friends to read this book too. At first, many of them were angry with me for talking about a lot of self-help, but a few of my friends really understood me and the Questions and now we go out for drinks together every Saturday night (and sometimes Thursday too, for Happy Hour and 5$ burger night), where we talk about other books and things we can do to change our lives. One of my friends wants to start her own tailoring business, and another of my friends is going to leave his stupid girlfriend any day now.

Generally I don’t read very many books but I’m sure glad I read this one. If I could say anything to Byron Katie, I would give her a big hug and tell her “Thank you!” Loving What Is makes me want to be a better person and I think I am becoming better day by day. It just takes a lot of caring and hard work.

Book Review: Happier By Tal Ben-Shahar


Review of Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar

If you can stand to read the word “happy” and its derivitaves 35 billion times, then you’ll probably get through this book. I should warn the reader, however, that if you picked up Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment hoping it would unlock the door to happiness and make your life suddenly super, you’re going to be disappointed. Happiness is work. You can’t just find it and hold it forever—you have to have a little common sense, a taste for introspection, and something meaningful in your life. You might even have all of those things and still be unhappy, but this book probably won’t fix that for you.

The author’s research is solid and his point of view is attractive. There are always new ways of looking at old things, especially when there are books to be written and people so willing to part with their cash. But do you really need to buy the book to know how to be happy? Probably not. You might want to read it as an interesting exercise in psychology or sociology, but if you want to help yourself and find simplified solutions to impossible problems, there are lots of books containing empty promises and important-sounding fluff out there that will surely satisfy your desires.

But, for an interesting take on a timeless problem, go ahead and read this book.  It was quite interesting and I had many AHA! moments….

Book Review: The Power Of Now: A Guide To Spiritual Enlightenment

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment – Review

Imagine a world of clear minds and experience the tranquility within. Spend your days filled with greater experiences and a higher purpose. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment is a map of how this can all be achieved, with easy steps throughout everyday life. Imagine most of your worries being erased without negative issues arriving within your life and read how simple this can be. This book brings a journey of enlightenment into reality for everyone who reads it and shows how worrying about what has not yet happened is usually only time spent worrying. Circumstances are only within the control of our choices and nature has it’s coinciding plan also. Find your inner self and allow yourself to witness the amazing reality of the spiritual guidance that surrounds us everday. The world moves at a fast and noisy pace but once the right pace of life is within our sights our minds become widened and we see all things differently and our personal worlds become greater. There is so much great reading due to the wide selection of research within the books entirety. Eckhart Tolle has outlined his keypoints with amazing factual experiences and uses them not just to tell us how to find spiritual enlightenment but also explains why within his words. Another life changing saga for anyone who reads the words of Eckhart Tolle. Experience the power within your own mind and your life will become greater than ever before.

Book Review: The Angel Inside

The angel Inside, Michelangelo’s Secrets for following your Passion.

The Angel Inside, Michelangelo’s secrets for following your passion and finding the work you love.

This book I have to say, it takes the cake. Literally.
The book has stolen the hearts of so many people. it’s a book written to help people discover where they want to go in life.
The difference between this book and so many other “steps to finding your career” type books is, this book is actually a book, it is set off an inspiring story which happened to the author between him and 1 other person for only 1 day, that totally changed his life.

Most people who have also read the book, say the story is moving and uplifting, like the readers lives are being impacted on a dramatic level.

How many books out there can really do that? And the best part is the book is cheap. I’m finding it in online stores for only around 10 to 15$.

For a life moving experience, 10 to $15 really isn’t that big of a sacrifice. People pay thousands for real life experiences. I guess they should have just read the book.

It seems Michelangelo, is going to forever stay a name of men who find places in the hearts of history.

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Book Review: In Search of the Miraculous by P. D. Ouspensky

We all assume we have a certain sense of knowledge in order to succeed in life. However, there are always variations of how to see the world. In some instances, these unique perspectives are so radically different from the common ways we see things, we are totally taken aback. Such is the case when you read the excellent In Search of the Miraculous book by P. D. Ouspensky. This is, without a doubt, one of the most unique spiritual self-help books ever written.

The book centers on a study of the Gurdjieff methodology of spiritualism which has a following, but it not as well known as other spiritual and philosophical approaches to life. Namely, disciplines such as Zen Buddhism, dzogchen, and Taoism all have a larger presence in the realm of meditation based spiritual training.

Of course, meditation is a complex and serious matter. Even those who have a lot of experience in this realm may discover that some of the Gurdjieff concept to be a little bit beyond their understanding. Additionally, the underlying philosophical principles may be beyond their understanding. Thanks to Ouspensky’s book, a clearer understanding of how this process works can be attained.

The structure of the book is devised in such a way that understanding the material presented in the book is easy to achieve. The material is properly presented and that aids in making simple to understand. As such, this is a very highly recommended book and well worth exploring by the spiritual minded.

Book Review: Callings

Ever wondered what to do with your life? Are you living the life you were meant to live? Do callings in life present themselves as blessings or curses to you? These questions and many like them are addressed in Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life.

Business author Gregg Michael Levoy combines psychology, philosophy, theology, and sociology to motivate his readers to seek their true purpose in life. Emphasizing the fundamental skill of listening, Levoy writes “the discipline of paying close attention to …the vital signs that blip across the screen of our lives in forms such as dreams, intuitions, feedback, and longings, will help us know what our calls are.”

Levoy combines compassion with a direct writing style to help us find clarity in our callings, to effectively address conflict in our relationships, to learn how to read our dreams, and how to listen to what our bodies are telling us for the purpose of creating a purposeful present and a meaningful future. He weaves in the stories of others, how they pursue and overcome, and how they learn from life’s experiences to better discern their life callings.

Whether you are a student, successful business person, or nearing retirement, Callings will help you to develop tools and determine pathways that give meaning to your circumstances, thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Levoy’s ultimate goal is to enable you to invoke or call into personal experience the life that you were meant to live. Be blessed by saying yes to your calling.