BOOK REVIEW: Are You My Type Or Am I Yours?
Searching for the perfect mate? Want to understand your loved ones and yourself better? Need some parenting help?
ENTER >> The Enneagram.
An “Enneagram” is a model of the human psyche, which is taught and understood as a classification of nine interconnected personality types. If you have always been intrigued and fascinated by the psychology of personality, this book will amaze you and quickly become one of your favorites.
If you explore the nine personality types, you can become more self-aware and understand family members, co-workers, friends, and others you encounter more completely.
Are You My Type, Am I Yours is a psychology book that details each personality type’s best and worst attributes and discusses social and relational characteristics and an in-depth personality description of each.
This fun and interesting book takes a witty approach to relationships using the Enneagram types and how they relate to one another. This personality typing system has become extremely popular by explaining why we act as we do while providing an essential tool for insight and self-discovery.
Are You My Type, Am I Yours discusses the nine personality types and how they interact in work, love, friendships, and family. Each chapter is filled with intriguing facts, witty cartoons, easy personality tests, and famous couples of each type to aid in discovering and appreciating your own personality type and those of people you are involved with — or would like to be.
Take one of the personality tests to determine the number and wing you are on the Enneagram to understand better what motivates you. Knowing both the healthy and unhealthy sides of your “type” can be a clear path for emotional growth.
Shadow number in personal development refers to the opposite side of our highest or core values, or those things that are of the greatest importance to us. When we choose to do an activity that is fulfilling to us, our core values and shadow values are being fulfilled.
Most people are unaware of what their shadow values are and how they are influencing their behavior.
Here are the shadow values that everyone possesses on some level.
- Being unique, special, or different
- Being accepted by, connected to, or feeling a part of something
- Being able to influence your situation, surroundings, yourself, and others
- Being wealthy and having the power to do or have whatever you desire
- Being able to express your sexual desires or preferences without shame
- Being right, being better than yourself and others
- Being important, worthy, or good enough
Many books discussing the Enneagram personality types focus on personal growth and self-understanding, but few focus on how the Enneagram helps people with different personality types get along.
This easy-to-read, illustrated book goes into detail about the likes and dislikes of each personality type, which types are most likely to pair up romantically, how partners, friends, and co-workers can best support people with different personality types.
Let’s discuss the nine different personality types — see if you can pick out the one that most closely resembles you!
- The Achiever
- Motivated by the need to achieve success, be productive, and avoid failure.
- These personalities are driven, success-oriented, pragmatic, and image-conscious.
- Their major goal is to feel worthwhile and valuable.
- Achievers believe in themselves and strive to become “somebody” by developing their capabilities and talents.
- The Adventurer
- Motivated by the desire to be happy, engage in fun things, contribute to the world, and avoid suffering and pain.
- This person is introverted, observant, and feeling.
- They tend to have open minds and approach life, new experiences, and people with grounded warmth.
- The Asserter
- Motivated by the desire to be strong and self-reliant, make an impact on the world, avoid appearing weak.
- Powerful, protective, and resourceful
- Their temperament is inspiring to others.
- Their personal strengths definitely improve others’ lives.
- The Helper
- Motivated by a need to be appreciated and loved and expresses positive feelings towards others.
- Kind, generous, warm-hearted, and loving
- In times of unhealth, can be codependent, manipulative, or people-pleasing.
- The Observer
- Motivated by the need to know everything, understand the universe, be self-sufficient and left alone, avoid not answering or looking foolish.
- Insightful, independent, and innovative
- Typically ahead of their time, they see things in new and unique ways, concentrate on complex issues with laser-like focus.
- The Peacemaker
- Motivated by the wish to keep the peace, avoid conflict and merge with others
- People-pleaser, friendly, agreeable, cooperative, adaptable, trusting, empathetic, and easy-going
- They go with the flow and desire peace and harmony
- Are afraid of chaos, separation, and conflict.
- The Perfectionist
- This type is driven to live life the correct way, to improve himself/herself and others, and avoids anger.
- They are rational and principled, purposeful, and self-controlled, often to the point of being overly critical of others and themselves.
- Advocates of change, have a desire to be useful and strive to improve.
- The Questioner
- Motivated by the desire for security, to feel taken care of, and confront their fears
- Hard-working, reliable, committed, yet haunted by self-doubt
- Very faithful to people who matter
- Excellent at troubleshooting and anticipating challenges
- Fanatically loyal to their ideas, systems, and beliefs.
- The Romantic
- Motivated by the need to understand the feelings of others and the meaning of life and avoid being ordinary.
- They believe they can find the love or situation that is special, unique, and fulfilling.
- Idealistic, feels things deeply, empathetic, and authentic.
- Dramatic, moody, occasionally self-absorbed
Some of my best memes on the enneagram:
If you want a greater understanding of yourself and your relationships, this book can help. It teaches how to communicate with others and helps to build an effective system to build or enhance your business or personal relationships.
A discussion of what each personality type is looking for in a relationship and how they interact together. Also, there is a discussion on how the Enneagram correlates to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which is a questionnaire designed to make psychological types useful and understandable.
The authors of this terrific book are experts in the Enneagram.
For over 25 years, Renee Baron has been in private practice. She has taught countless seminars and workshops on the value of understanding your personality type. She uses the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs Indicator personality assessments to give readers a practical yet powerful tool to understand their own behavior and the behavior of others. Her books have been published in 17 countries.
Elizabeth Wagele is a leading expert and one of the most popular authors on the Enneagram. She is a graduate of Berkeley at the University of California and continuously blogs about personalities and other interesting subjects.
Enneagram psychology is both a fascinating and accurate view of human behavior, personality, and motivation. This book discusses these things with knowledge, humor, and insight. Become more self-aware, build self-esteem, and learn to accept yourself by gaining insight into your personality type this book will provide.
I recommend this book to all my friends and family to help improve current relationships with loved ones, friends, and co-workers while providing knowledge about relationships yet to be developed.
You can take the Enneagram Test online here.
There are many fascinating elements of the Enneagram to consider that can affect the expression of a person’s personality. Start with questions like: Who is this person? What do they want? What will they do to get it? What will they do if they don’t get it? How do they see the world? And most importantly: who will this person become through the journey?
Below is the best video I found on the enneagram, enjoy: